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House of Raunchiness!
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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in House of Raunchiness' LiveJournal:

Monday, December 1st, 2003
1:07 pm
oh look! this community lives!
It's been around for awhile, but just in case you missed it:


Nature can be a cruel mistress.

Current Mood: working
2:29 am
Hey, remember when people used to post here?

I have nothing dirty to say for once. I'm sorry.
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
9:28 pm
more since this site seems so unused...
Q: what is red and crawling up your leg?
A: the homesick abortion.

Q: why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: cause i kicked it.

Q: how many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth?
A: about 100.

Current Mood: discontent
Sunday, June 1st, 2003
6:44 pm
Q: what do you get when you pound a nail into an a dead baby's skull?
A: i don't know about you, but i get a huge erection.

Q: what is black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A: the eight year old tied up in my trunk.

Q: what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?
A: i don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Q: how do you get a dead baby into a bowl?
A: a blender.
Q: how do you get him out of the bowl?
A: a straw.

Current Mood: crappy
Friday, May 23rd, 2003
12:45 am
i figure since this is the "house of raunchiness," i should probably share some of my fun stories from my internship at the ME's office:
- there was this old lady who had been brought in. i'd say she was probably in her late seventies or eighties. died of natural causes. anyways, the first problem was that when she was found and the emt's tried to do cpr, her shirt literally disintegrated off of her. she had to have been wearing the same shirt for the last seven years. apparently, she had a helper that would bring her groceries everyday - she would make out a list and he would get what she wanted. included in that list everyday was two boxes of kleenex. when they found her, the house was knee-high in used kleenex. it looked as though she had used them to wipe herself and then instead of throwing them away or flushing them, she would just throw them wherever. when we removed her underwear, they were filled with kleenex. there was even kleenex stuck to her. the other fucked up thing was that it looked like she had a dead raccoon underneath her. she had hair down to about her ass, but it had all clumped into this massive oval dread. the hair on the top of her head was all combed, but there was this huge animal-resembling clump underneath her.
more as i remember it.

Current Mood: discontent
Thursday, May 15th, 2003
11:46 pm
he's the joy of my world...
MC Paul Barman:

Uh oh, the RIAA is here to take me away...

Current Mood: scared
11:14 pm
3:27 am
Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
10:59 pm
oooh, here is another good one:

Current Mood: amused
10:50 pm
wow!!! i feel really honored that you used my name in this community! it is fucking great. and also the fact that i was about to send an e-mail in to join, but then saw that i was already signed up! fucking wonderful.

hows about some kiddie fucking jokes i stole from my roommate to start my posts off:
how do you make an 8 year old cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on her favorite teddy bear.

what is the worst part about fucking an 8 year old?
getting the blood out of the clown suit.

so i was walking into the woods with this five year old and she starts crying. and i'm like, what the hell are you crying about? i'm the one that has to walk out of here alone!

don't like em? you can stick a dick in yo mouf mouf mouf mouf

Current Mood: enthralled
Monday, May 12th, 2003
3:24 pm
a handjob's a man's job but your job's a blowjob...
one of my favorite off-color jokes:

An middle aged businessman comes home to find a cab waiting outside his house and his wife packing her suitcases.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"I'm moving to Las Vegas. You can get $500 for a blowjob there!" she answers.

The man immediately gets his suitcases from the closets and starts packing those.

"What do you think you're doing?" his wife asks.

"I'm going with you to Vegas. I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year."

Yeah, I'm lame.

Current Mood: okay
Sunday, May 11th, 2003
10:22 pm
So welcome to dickinyomouf. We, the creators of this fantastic community, wish to make you a much dirtier person.

So...open wide.

Current Mood: amused
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